Splintered by A.G. Howard

Splintered by A.G. Howard
My rating: 2 of 5 genies
Published: January 1, 2013
Genre: Fantasy, YA, Romance
Pages: 371
Publisher: Amulet Books
Format: Hardback
Source: Purchased

Goodreads Summary

This stunning debut captures the grotesque madness of a mystical under-land, as well as a girl’s pangs of first love and independence. Alyssa Gardner hears the whispers of bugs and flowers—precisely the affliction that landed her mother in a mental hospital years before. This family curse stretches back to her ancestor Alice Liddell, the real-life inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alyssa might be crazy, but she manages to keep it together. For now.
When her mother’s mental health takes a turn for the worse, Alyssa learns that what she thought was fiction is based in terrifying reality. The real Wonderland is a place far darker and more twisted than Lewis Carroll ever let on. There, Alyssa must pass a series of tests, including draining an ocean of Alice’s tears, waking the slumbering tea party, and subduing a vicious bandersnatch, to fix Alice’s mistakes and save her family. She must also decide whom to trust: Jeb, her gorgeous best friend and secret crush, or the sexy but suspicious Morpheus, her guide through Wonderland, who may have dark motives of his own.

My Review

Cover: 4/5
Characters: 1/5
Plot: 1/5
Setting: 4/5
Overall: 2/5

** Technically, or according to my botched-up rating system, this book should be more around 3.25 rating-wise, but because it is a totally inaccurate representation of how I feel right now, I am going over its head.**



You mad bro? Ha.

Long story short, I could not finish this book. Regard this as a DNF Review and take my word with the customary grain of salt, but Splintered did not work for me. I think I went in expecting my mind to be blown, you know rainbow unicorn kisses and all that shiz.

*Sigh* If only life were magical...



Where's my unicorn?

I'm sorry to say, but it wasn't there for me. The magic, I mean. Ally isn't the protagonist I thought she would be, not kick-ass at all, and the love interest is compared to her FATHER so kill me now. Maybe it's because characters and romance in any book are such HUGE factors for me; if the romance is some limp dead thing the author is constantly trying to resuscitate throughout the novel, I will not finish the book. If the characters just trudge around being unspectacular, I will not finish the book. If I think that there are other books I could be enjoying instead of the book in question...well, I think you guessed where this is going.

I still feel confused, though, that I didn't like it. Most people love the book and I'm like that one weird person in all the world who doesn't like chocolate. Somebody hold me?



Damnit! This is too depressing.

What I liked

The world-building is beautiful, and A.G. Howard is absolutely brilliant in the way she twists one of my all-time favourite children's books into a place more frightening and mystical than I could have ever imagined. I think my mouth gaped WIDE at what she was doing to the already insane environment of Wonderland, its Rabid White, Octobenus...everything. This author can write, and I certainly will look at other books by her in the future. She has a gift, and I can't wait to see her write more.

The book itself is also really pretty! With a splendid cover and great typography, there isn't much not to love by way of presentation. This isn't a purchase I regret either because Splintered was a reasonable buy and makes my bookshelf look good. Although, I would recommend you lend it from a library/friend if you're short on cash and aren't 100% sold that it's for you.

All in all, Splintered gives a refreshing spin on the whole Alice in Wonderland story. The "curse" is a great touch, and Howard making Alice too young at the time to fully understand/cope with the gruesome reality of the land really adds a to my perception of Alice as a whole. This book offered a great escape, even though it didn't work for me.

But then Again...

The Jeb crap - his imposition in Ally's life, interfering with her dreams due to selfish motives - and the "skater girl" crap, which grew patronizing after a while, all annoyed me. Like I said, him being compared to her dad - and having lunch with him to discuss her future - did not help things.

Unfortunately, I couldn't connect with the main characters. I like Ally's mom, she sacrifices so much for her family, and her dad is like the best YA dad of 2013 so far, but those two and Morpheus were the only characters I saw myself warming up to. In my mind, Jeb looks like a very shaggy St. Bernard with all his overgrown hair, and I wasn't feeling his "bad-boy" vibe. I've seen better.

Overall

Splintered is a creative re-imagining of a beloved classic with fresh, gruesome twists that will enthral many readers; I'm just disappointed it didn't entertain me.

2 genies: I could have, and SHOULD have, liked this book. Unfortunately, because of reasons already covered above, I didn't.

Review: Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce

Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce
My rating: 2 of 5 genies
Genre: YA, Fantasy, Retellings, Horror, Shapeshifters, Romance
Published: June 7, 2010
Pages: 324
Publisher: Little, Brown Books For Young Readers
Source: Purchased
Format: Hardcover
Purchase At: TheBookDepository.com or Amazon.com

Goodreads Summary

Scarlett March lives to hunt the Fenris--the werewolves that took her eye when she was defending her sister Rosie from a brutal attack. Armed with a razor-sharp hatchet and blood-red cloak, Scarlett is an expert at luring and slaying the wolves. She's determined to protect other young girls from a grisly death, and her raging heart will not rest until every single wolf is dead.
Rosie March once felt her bond with her sister was unbreakable. Owing Scarlett her life, Rosie hunts ferociously alongside her. But even as more girls' bodies pile up in the city and the Fenris seem to be gaining power, Rosie dreams of a life beyond the wolves. She finds herself drawn to Silas, a young woodsman who is deadly with an ax and Scarlett's only friend--but does loving him mean betraying her sister and all that they've worked for?

My Thoughts

It was good for a while and then it got creepy, fast. I loved that Pearce had such ingenuity as to take a staple classic like Little Red Riding Hood and then flip it completely up it's axis. The bond between the sisters was incredible and for a while I even went as far as to admire the connection the two shared. Until I realized what was happening, that is. Until then I was all for this one as a four or five genie read and was a huge fan, probably even going as far as to say I envied the characters, Rose and Scarlet. That notion didn't last long however, and certainly not past the point when they moved to the city and Rosie started her classes. Then reality set.

This book is really creepy, no joke. I don't admire their relationship (Scarlet and Rosie's) anymore because of how wrong it seems. I hope that I never share a bond like that with anyone in my life. Honest.

Something about it just wasn't right and I hate the co-dependence so intricately laced in every sentence, that one needed the other's permission for the very slightest of things. It was as if they owned each other. Almost. Silas kind of screws things up in that department, but he and Rosie's relationship was never 'sparks are flying' for me; it just kind of happened one day and then they were in love. Not my ideal romance!

I recommended this book to my sister (she's 14) and then to her friend who is 15 just to know their opinion and they liked it. Maybe it is just me, but going on with this read never happened once I set it down to rest. I could try again someday, if I ever felt the need to scare myself silly with the thought of owing anybody in this world so much of me that I was practically bound to them, but that day is very far away.

Review: Evyione (Volume 1) by Kim Young-Hee

Evyione: Ocean Fantasy, Volume 1 by Kim Young-Hee
My rating: 3 of 5 genies
Genre: YA, Fantasy, Retelling, Adventure, Romance
Published: Septemeber 9, 2008
Pages: 200
Publisher: Udon Entertainment
Source: Online Scan
Format: eBook

Goodreads Summary

Remember the tale of the little mermaid that fell in love with the dashing human prince? Now, imagine the roles reversed, as a romance blooms between the beautiful Evyione and a dashing young merman. It's a unique twist on timeless tale that is sure to leave you spellbound.

My Thoughts

First things first, this series is what I would consider soft porn at many instances; it depicts sex in relative detail and the female breasts are pretty much on display whenever said coitus occurs. Suffice to say, there is nudity, and as I was shocked to discover, sex happens pretty graphically. The image immediately coming to mind in this instance is of Ariel on that magical rock, when all the water is bursting around her...



Minus the pretty little seashells on hisher boobs.

On that note, I am pretty offended because guys in the manga get great coverage of their privates not that I'm hungry for any visuals on man parts or anything, and the most that is shown of male nakedness is well...The Butt.



Yeah.

It was a well drawn manga, in my opinion, and the story looks promising. As I previously mentioned, there are graphic scenes but the first manga volume is not as bad as the ones following. But with that said, I would not advice anyone 15-16 or younger reading this, just because I do not find it appropriate. You have been warned.

Another issue I had was with the crazy sea witch, and I think that it is time a growing problem in our society be addressed. What is up with all the crazy chicks?? I get that some people might be all, 'Go her!' or 'The Sea King was a total dolt anyway,' but really? Are you kidding me right now? She's crazy in the head, and willing to risk everything - all the mer-perople's futures and the life of this Dude-King whom she apparently loves - just to feel needed??



That's messed up. What happened to telling him you loved him, getting rejected and well, moving on?! Let's not forget that there have been many chicks besides this princess, other women that she has helped...ahem...kill. She's nuts, I don't know what constitutes for nuts for y'all, but that is nutty enough for me and 2 captain crunchy-crunch sandwiches with enough left-over for seconds. That nuts.



And I'm going to start ranting soon so I'll cut it short here. What I'm getting at is: read this if you want something interesting and if entertaining nudity isn't a problem. It is not a bad manga by any standards, but some things really could have been handled far more tastefully.

Review: A Curse Dark As Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce

A Curse Dark As Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce
My rating: 2 of 5 genies
Genre: YA, Fantasy, Retelling, Romance, Historical, Mystery, Magic
Published: March 1, 2008
Pages: 396
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Source: Library Loan
Format: Hardcover
Purchase At: TheBookDepository.com or Amazon.com

Goodreads Summary

This ravishing winner of the ALA's William C. Morris YA Debut Award is a fairy tale, spun with a mystery, woven with a family story, and shot through with romance.

Charlotte Miller has always scoffed at talk of a curse on her family's woolen mill, which holds her beloved small town together. But after her father's death, the bad luck piles up: departing workers, impossible debts, an overbearing uncle. Then a stranger named Jack Spinner offers a tempting proposition: He can turn straw into gold thread, for the small price of her mother's ring. As Charlotte is drawn deeper into her bargains with Spinner-and a romance with the local banker-she must unravel the truth of the curse on the mill and save the community she's always called home.

My Thoughts

I tried to get into this one, really hard actually, but the sentences just dragged endlessly and never seemed worth the effort. Bunce's knack for description is remarkable in the sense that she can make the very most elementary of things, complex. My experience with this book was very much like an essay; leaving me thinking it a very well written piece of prose, but not truly engaging. Not that every essay out there is as dry as card board, only that A Curse Dark as Gold could have been written for scholars with no business whatsoever bothering with escape literature. It was lengthy and thick in all the wrong ways and my senses were never engaged with the main character or the grief surrounding her.

I wanted to like it, and I understand that the plot truly does thicken once the main protagonist decides to do something; I just couldn't manage to keep myself motivated long enough for that moment to come. The two genies at the beginning of this rating are for the writing because I really do find it beautiful and Ms. Bunce has a talent for words.

But I warn you to pick this book up only if you are going on a trip you are certain will prove a very far journey. You may also read this if the library next door suddenly caught fire and by sheer luck this is the only piece of written literature to survive.

2 genies: I wanted to like this, I really did, but too much was left under-developed.

There was far more worse than good.